My D-Day

When you’ve a deadline set for decisions it makes the whole thing all the more terrifying. However small the decision may be it ultimately affects the rest of your life from that moment forward. For me it’s the whole academic thing, wanting to do my higher studies. And the decision right now lies in the hands of the consulate with whom I’ve a visa appointment on the 24^th of this month. Exactly two weeks from now. If I’m granted my F1 visa, I’m off, else I stay back. If I go it’s a whole different life for me, if I stay it will probably be a little close to the same as it is right now…along with the factor of regret, that is. So 24^th June 2009 is the d-day for me. My day of judgment. The one day that could define my life forever. It’s also exactly a month to my birthday, the 24^th.

In my junior year of college I wished that by my 21^st birthday I would have a job. I did. Then I wished that by my 22^nd birthday I’d have earned my first salary. I did. And then I wished that by my 23^rd birthday I’d have an admission in a good university, and my visa and would be planning to leave the country. Hopefully, I will.

It’s just the whole point of planning for something and making it happen, I guess. Because I don’t believe in fate and destiny. Well, to some extent maybe, but not truly fully. Just recalled line of Signor Da Vinci from the movie Ever After: A Cinderella Story – <I watched it for Dougray Scott> – You can’t leave everything to Fate. She’s busy. Sometimes she needs a helping hand. Makes sense, right? We can’t sit back every time something good or bad happens and say “what happened had to happen, can’t help it.” We make our own fate/destiny. It’s us. What we do.

I think I’ve been on this sphere through several of my posts. I keep coming back to it because when people tell me it’s fate I get pissed off! It’s not fate. It’s us. Always us. We work for it we get it. We don’t give it our all, we lose it. That’s it. Ende!

So it’s two weeks from now. Exactly. I will be sitting at the consulate the Wednesday after next. And here I am on this Wednesday contemplating about the Wednesday after next.