I do not pretend to understand people very well. But I can at least decipher certain aspects by their behavior. Something I learned to do from my Mum and grandpa really. It’s quite fascinating the facets you become acquainted with in the process of observing silently. Pretty much how it happens with friends as well, mein Freunde being the whole point of this post. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to discover which type of people one would be comfortable with and the type of people one would rather avoid. I suppose I can say that though I have sauntered along that path it was only by trial and error that I learned my lesson. Helps. Because at the end of the day it matters which people you know will stand by you. Even for the tiniest of things in your life. You wouldn’t have to explain to them anything and yet they’d know. Takes a long time to get to that level of comfort, and I’ve wondered sometimes (in retrospect) if I jumped across that bridge blindfolded. Then I come to the conclusion that maybe I have, but realized it soon enough. For my own good.
It’s all about the situations you’re in. The points in time when something happens and you realize some aspect of their nature, their reaction or merely their approach to handling that situation. A sort of enlightenment so to speak. Now the thing is, I’ve ended up severing/slacking certain ties because of these situations and have ultimately been blamed…the sole culprit for the loss of/lack of friendship. I would never point fingers and blame and if it has happened, then it happened inadvertently, because human nature is such that in those intense moments you really cannot always have control over your emotions. I think it would be right to say that I try not to play the blaming game. Most times I succeeded but sometimes did let it out. I regret having done that. But it all came out of self-defense…I am allowed at least that little bit of liberty, right? No, I would never, and can proudly say, have never, publically proclaimed any of these events. Of course everyone knew about it, but the story always remained one sided. My side, still remains with me. I don’t believe in all that talking and telling people so wholly unconcerned. My closest mates always knew, well…at least most of it, and that’s been enough. Anyway, these situations have earned me the title of being a bitch. Thank you!! 
Easiest way out of the loop, if you ask me. Those who stick by you even after this are the ones who you ought to trust. These are the ones who pretty much light you up. By the odd phone call, or SMS, even if it’s just that one word ‘Wassup?’ You smile. And remember how it used to be when you saw each other every day. For me it pricks. To know that these are the people I might’ve actually ignored at some point, though fully aware of how truly close they’ve always been. My stupid mistake, that. Yes, I am to blame. But what keeps me afloat on that border of regret is the fact that they’ve always understood why. They got angry but never confronted me with it. We still stuck. They’re the ones I turn to now. The one’s who really, truly and fully matter. I love you guys, you know that right?
P.S. Here’re two pictures I took with my new camera. They’re from the video of The Haunting by Kamelot, and I think Roy Khan looks absolutely irresistible in both – the gentle and the intense… I’m reading Faust now – an abridged version as of now, while I set people on a mission to track down the original. Brilliant book, that. Funny that I should be all about Kamelot and Goethe’s Faust at the same time…Maybe it’s all a co-incidence…or maybe I just intended it to be so !!
Kamelot - Roy Khan as Ariel in The Haunting (Somewhere In Time)
Kamelot - Roy Khan as Ariel in The Haunting (Somewhere In Time)
Filed under: Inner Explosions, metal music, music | Tagged: friends, friendship, Kamelot, lessons, Roy Khan, the haunting stills
