B’day Blues

[This post was originally written on 22nd July, 2008]

From when we were little kids, each of our birthdays have had special significance, other than the fact that the Earth had once more gone around the Sun for us. Till the age of twelve I think we all had grand parties…friends from school and our playmates (the so-called street gang who played football with the sole intention of breaking windows and causing damage to parked cars, or hide ‘n’ seek – sneaking into people’s houses and garages, etc.) and some kin and family friends. We’d have the games…musical chairs, treasure hunt, bingo, lemon ‘n’ spoon, tail the donkey, passing the parcel, do it from the hat, the bagel contest (similar to pie eating contest but with bagels or donuts). Then the cake would be cut and balloons burst while everyone danced around in a rain of streamers wearing bright colored party hats singing ‘Happy Birthday’ in various pitches. And then the giving and opening of presents followed by dinner. At home or out. The first if the adults had the time and patience to cook for a minimum of forty guests, the latter if they felt otherwise. Either way the last of the guests would say ‘Goodnight’ at 21:00 hrs and then there’d be the family session where in after putting us kids to bed, my immediate family on my maternal side would lounge on the terrace or the living room and talk. As time passed and we grew older, four, out of the six of us, having already celebrated our 16^th birthday and I passing the twenty mark, nothing much has changed. There is always the hype of going birthday shopping and ordering a cake, flaunting new clothes and accessories, mothers trying to come to a decision about the dinner menu…Only difference is we no longer have friends over. It’s just a family celebration on the day of our birth and we still do the whole thing of playing games and opening gifts and talking and dinner.

Two days from now I’ll be celebrating my 22nd birthday and while most of my contemporaries are rarely excited about this fact it’s quite the opposite for me. In the past few years all of our lives have changed, each of us having our own school/college work or our parents not being around…and eventually the time that we spent with each other, my cousins and I, reduced to the few minutes when we’d drive to school and back. Being as close as we are it wasn’t enough. Thus our birthday parties became a family get together of sorts. The entire day will be filled with phone calls making plans for the evening and everyone would be there. Just us. Even if it’s just to cut a cake and laugh and talk we’d be there. We cut cakes even for anniversaries now…The two festivals that we do get together for are also special. So that’s sixteen birthday parties (which technically boils down to ten because six of our family are away), five wedding anniversaries (down to three), and two festivals. It’s not because we’re getting older, or because we like to make a big deal of birthdays and anniversaries. It’s just that we get to spend an entire day (pretty much) together. No, it’s not necessary, but we do it. However close we are there is always the element of us missing the physical presence of the other at some point. It’s not like we need to be there at the party to show that we care, that we love each other, and we’re this nice happy family. It’s an excuse for everone to look forward to doing something fun, to leave behind some other obligation in the name of family, and no one feels guilty by doing this!

I’m not very sure why I got into this whole drive about family and parties. Maybe it’s because we’re going out this weekend, fifteen of us on a sojourn after…I don’t remember the last time we all went!! Guess sentiments just set in at times.