Actions Without Regret

Whatever one does, there is always this tendency to question it later – as in the why and the what if’s and the how’s. These questions arise especially if that person acted on impulse to do something that it was done. See, I’m a person who never really thinks about the consequences of my actions before I have done a particular task. I normally act on instinct. I deal with the ramifications later, if there are any. But it is my main concern that regret be avoided at all costs. It takes the fun out of having done something spontaneously.

For example, one time a few friends and I decided to skip school one day and go out. We hadn’t thought of it before that moment when we were sitting in Math class and watching formula materialize into solutions. A note was passed hidden in a Math worksheet and five of us decided that we were gonna skive classes for the next four hours and return to school before the final bell rang 1600 hours. What did we do? We waited for the period to get over, ran out of class, pretended we were going to the administration building, snuck into the garden and subsequently made back around to the wall bordering our playground. Here we hoisted ourselves over the wall (which was quite tall…nearing fifteen feet I would say) by first climbing onto the branches of a banyan tree which provided us ample cover, and we were out. Yeah people stared at us because it was quite obvious that we were running out of school, but we dusted our skirts and on we went. We walked to one of the cafes close to school and from there went out for lunch, and returned to school after dessert. When we got back, we sauntered in through the front gate. People gaped. We were some of those model students at school so it wasn’t expected of us to do something as ‘harsh and stupid’ – as one teacher later called it – as this. But we did. The consequences? Our class teacher realized that we’d been missing and there was that threat to call our parents and punish us and all. Two of the girls freaked. Three of us stood our ground calmly. Not saying a single word. The terrorization went on for a few minutes, and carried on into the next day. Eventually they got bored and we were let off with a two day detention. That’s it. Weeks after this incident I thought about it and then the question arose. Why did I do it? What if I’d got caught? How did I manage to keep out of trouble? What if someone finds out later and haunts me with it? What if something had happened to us?? Not all these questions were answered, but at the end of it I had only two thoughts in my head. Did I regret it? No I didn’t. Would I do it again? Yes, I would. That’s it and the matter was closed. That’s pretty much how I deal with everything. Any repercussions I deal with later. There’s always that choice, though. That chance to say ‘no, I won’t do it’ at the beginning of everything and sometime even when you’re halfway through it you can easily refuse and back off. I very rarely do that, maybe because I’ve never been in a situation where I needed to back off, or maybe because so far I’ve managed to deal with the things that I do. Yeah, I always have a choice, and I always make that choice. But my decision is never influenced by what someone says, it’s just me and my head. I decide and I do it. And that has been quite okay for me.

That aside, I voted for the first time since attaining the legal age of becoming an adult !! I was, still am, very proud to show to everyone my index finger with the ink mark on it, signifying that I did indeed cast my vote for a candidate of my choice . Yeah, it was fun. AND I got a saree today !! A very pretty (according to me) blue and purple silk saree. It’s that double shaded color which looks really nice !! I like it !! I tried draping it and failed miserably as I stepped on the saree and stumbled across the floor (not that I know how to drape a saree but I still tried and it was kinda acceptable). AND Chelsea didn’t win the Premiership . Wasn’t very disappointed because they put up a really good fight. I mean, the title race coming down to the last game of the season isn’t something that happens often, so it was really thrilling to watch. GO CHELSEA !! And Ballack.. AH !! Brilliant man, he is. His last three goals for Chelsea in two matches were lifesavers literally !! Awesome. So people who ask me why I like Ballack so much, NOW YOU KNOW !!!!

Now, I try steering away from this topic as much as possible because it seems to me no one else agrees with my views, so yes I’d offer my opinion but the reasons I keep to myself. But somehow, with every turn of events I come back to it, love. There are a few questions that arise while chatting with my friends and here are the ones that have really never been answered properly:- [The answers given below the questions are the closest to best I have received so far from the 'experienced' lot.]

Q. How do you know you’ve fallen in love?

A. When you begin to miss that person. (Really??? *appalled*)

Q. How can you fall in love with a person you barely know?

A. It’s like the strike of lightening…love at first sight. (Now how the bloody hell would you know that? And isn’t love at first sight more of an attraction to the appearance than anything else?)

Q. How does one fall in love with a person you’ve only spoken to/chatted with and never seen?

A. You’ll know when you experience it. (eh…whatever!!)

Q. How do you know that you don’t love someone anymore?

A. The spark goes off. (Right…)

IT DOESN’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING !! WHAT THE @#$%!^&* ??? It’s like this weirdly concocted story just so you’re able to explain, or rather justify, why you’re in the relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not scoffing at the people who gave me these answers, because I’d really like to see them happy with their respective beaus. But what’s the thing of falling in love, being in a relationship, breaking up after some sort of misunderstanding (which in many of the cases I’ve seen are over silly things), and then stay single for a while and find someone else and play the whole drama again? Or find someone just to get over the previous relationship? I’ll say this loud and clear, I’ve never been in a relationship and somehow prefer never to be in such a situation. But I just want to know, out of plain curiosity, how do you know? So if someone could provide sane and at least explanatory answers to the above questions, my apprehensions might be put to rest. Any takers??